Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

'First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector', says the Coroner.

'Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning; hence the smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?'

'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning.'

'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

'He thought he was having his picture taken'.

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A man went into CentreLink in Adelaide, and saw a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read;

"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynaecologist.

You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off their pubic hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination. The annual salary is $85,000, and if you're interested you'll have to go to Sydney.

 "My God, is that where the job is?" asked the man.


 She answered,  - "No sir, that's where the end of the queue is."

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